Have a giggle with us, then check your CV for similar mistakes.
Below are a few extracts from CVs that are claimed to be real. (we cannot verify this, although it would not surprise us; as recruiters we understand that these "mistakes" can happen..)
CV errors to be avoided:
"Personal Information: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs."
"I am extremely loyal to my present company; please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."
"I intentionally ommitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often.
Children: Various"
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
Reasons for Leaving:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."
Job Responsibilities (Duties)
"While I am open to the inital nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
Special Notes:
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my emplyer does not know that I am looking for another job."
"My goal is to be a meteorologist. but since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
"I procrastinate- especially when the task is unpleasant."
"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian Sheep."
"Personal Interests: Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."
Small Typos that can seriously affect one's meaning:
"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984"
"Work Experience: Dealing with customer's conflicts that arouse."
"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest Chain operation."
Now get back to work - job hunting is serious business!
Happy Job Hunting!
No comments:
Post a Comment